THE VAULT

9/11, Nine Eleven, September 11
September 10, 2007 by The Colonel

Is something wrong? Probably.

Has it really been six years already? It’s amazing how fast time gets away from you, seemingly slipping through the fingers like sand, or a carrot covered in sexual lubricant. Don’t ask. Even though the years have undoubtedly blurred together since that sunny morning six years ago, most remember the day vividly. A day burned into ones vision, never to be blinked away.

Some, undoubtedly, remember this momentous day every day, and rarely think about or even mention much else. Like broken records. People like President Bush, or Rudy Giuliani, or Dick Cheney. You know, people who, much like commemorative coin makers, have profited from that dreadful day some six years ago. A bold statement to make, undoubtedly, but have you seen Giuliani’s speaking fees lately? He’s more in demand than a bottle of Febreze at Slantmouth’s Annual Super Spicy Chili Cook Off Carnival. Rest assured, the interns got it worst.

I know, there’s a contingent of people out there who are going to say, “But Mr. Blackwell, you magnificent, handsome bastard, Rudy Giuliani aside, how can you say that the President and Vice President profited from 9/11? It are not make sense!” To these people, the answer is delightfully simple. Since all hell ripped through the Middle East whistling “Yankee Doodle” and waving an American flag, a lot of folks have become very wealthy. Some of those folks work for companies like Blackwater or Halliburton, and other than the actual troops, said companies do pretty much all the work in Iraq. Did I mention that Uncle Sam pays these folks a lot of money to do that work? Turns out, it’s a tad hazardous to build fences, bridges, or go out for a nice soda in a war zone.

Incidentally, a lot of the kind chaps that run these fancy, global companies are pals with guys like Dick Cheney or President Bush. Weird, right? Never hurts to help out a friend, does it? Meh, even if it does, what’s done is done, after all, the rich get richer, we get boned. And by we, I mean you. The Colonel is rather well-off due to some luck in a diamond mine some years back. Glorious country, that Africa.

I digress, the fact is that while gents like President Bush continue to “pay tribute” to or “respectfully thank” those who died six years ago tomorrow, still beating the drum and making this retarded excuse for a war dance, dance, dance into oblivion, he does no respect and pays no tribute to anyone who died. And while Rudy Giuliani delivers speeches that sound as though he’s stuck in some terrible loop, a parrot who bleats the same, “Squawk, 9/11! Squawk, 9/11!” let us remember that the lives that were lost on that dazzling day six years ago actually meant something.

Unlike these dubious terrorist threats, unlike 98% of these buffoons who try to scream loudest for your attention, unlike the seemingly endless supply of bin Laden tapes, those people’s lives actually meant something. Let us remember them. And, while we’re all at it, let us also remember the people who are still dying and will continue to die from the hazardous dust that fell from the towers. And while you still have your remembrance cap on, remember that if you are still scared by politicians, terrorists and shoddy scare tactics, then the terrorists really have won. In other words, don’t be a moron.

~The Colonel