THE VAULT

Science Monkey: Ice, Ice, Baby
January 20, 2007 by Finnius Fapperton Science Monkey

With all of these reports of global warming, you’d think people would stop complaining about how cold it is, but alas, winter has finally arrived for a large portion of the United States, and a bulk of the Midwest is hurting badly. As though in some sort of slight directed at the President himself, Mother Nature in all of her wonder even smacked around Texas last week.

Ice is largely to blame, which is a rare meteorological anomaly for much of the state, and do to this rarity, the officials in Texas were completely and wholly unprepared. While some people are claiming this is indisputable proof that global warming doesn’t exist, those people are stupid.

See, global warming is a cruel mistress. Some days, she warms our January to a pleasant 60 or 70 degrees, only to follow with a day of the coldest temperatures you can remember. Not so much because it’s colder than it’s ever been, but more because compared to yesterday’s scorching heat, 23 degrees feels ridiculously frigid.

Personally, I’ll be glad to see some snow, but at the very same time, I’ll be filled with a sort of cautious pessimism, because I know that the next day I’ll have to put on shorts and shave half my fur. Again. I’m just glad that this monkey doesn’t live in Texas, but then again, that really has nothing to do with the ice storms.

~Finnius Fapperton Science Monkey