THE VAULT

Everyone is Yelling! (Clinton vs. Obama)
February 26, 2008 by The Colonel

Today, Slantmouth brings you the first part in a new, ongoing series- Everyone is Yelling! While this feature will likely stick to the sticky stuff, like elections, only sweet Jesus himself actually knows where this one will end up going—probably nowhere! Everyone is Yelling will highlight intelligent, point, counterpoint debates from prominent figures.

This round? Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama!

Let’s get ready for some YELLING!

Obama! You’re a secret Unamerican Muslim who went to school at a MADRASSA!! Unamerican! BRAAAH!

“Whatever, cankles! I sung the Anthem of the National! America sung back and made me OBAMAGICAL!”

Your hope will never crush our realism, Obama! YOUR HOPE IS KILLING THIS COUNTRY!

OBAMANIA IS RUNNING WILD, BROTHER! AND WITH IT, EVERYONE WILL HAVE HEALTH CARE AND TENDER PUPPIES!

I FEEL LIKE CRYING!

JOIN HANDS, BROTHERS AND SISTERS AND COUSINS AND STEP COUSINS AND AUNTIES AND UNCLES AND PEOPLE YOU BARELY KNOW! ONE NATION, UNDER OBAMA, INDIVISIBLE!

WAAAAAAHH!

We… may want to start handing out Quaaludes before we do this from now on.

View Part Two and Three of this groin-grabbingly exciting match!

~The Colonel