THE VAULT

Monday, November 26, 2007

Amazing. Snow Globe/Toilet.

Here at Slantmouth, we pride ourselves at being on the cutting edge at all times. Vast amounts of energy are spent every day here as we tirelessly gleam the cube of technological advancement. From weapons systems to patent-pending breakthroughs in home and garden, Slantmouth isn’t just about providing quality news to the people who need it most, Slantmouth is about innovation.

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Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Aqua Dot Hunger Force
by Julius Serpentine

Run! Run to your deaths! HA HA HA!

Humanity has a long history of combining things together to create something greater than the sum of its parts. Just think, what sort of world would we be living in if humans had not thought to combine super-humans and spandex or cows and hamburger buns? On second thought, don’t think about it. It’s way too early in this article to be getting depressed and this isn’t even about Iraq or tortured prisoners or some other heavy topic. This is only about unsuspecting children getting sick, so lighten up and smile a little bit.

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Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Prunes and Predjudice
by The Colonel

Nothing says romance like champagne and the aroma of Icy Hot.

Love is a funny little thing. As long as time has told, people have done crazy things for love. Written songs, gotten tattoos, chopped off ears, even brutally murdered with a pick-ax, all in the name of love. Ah, love, such a thing of wonder. Now, for the first time I can certainly account for, someone has actually sued for it. Well, not so much for love, but for a lack of the hot, messy kind. You may know it as sex.

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