THE VAULT

The man, the myth, the legend. Superman has been a staple in American culture since the late 30’s, representing everything that the United States holds dear, values, courage, and of course, battling evil. However, since the beginning of his illustrious career as an extremely boring crime fighter, many questions have lingered about the “Man of Steel.” So this week, in an effort to clarify fact from fiction before the new movie this week, Slantmouth sat down with Superman to get his side of the ongoing story.

Everyone’s least favorite Korea has once again riled up the international community. Apparently jealous from the lack of attention, in lieu of a terrorist corpse making guest appearances on several cable news outlets, North Korea is preparing a test firing of their long-range missile technology.

A Eulogy by The Colonel:

Al-Zarqawi- how we hardly knew ye. A lot of things can be said about former terrorist leader Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi. He was a murderer. He was a terrorist. He was the leader of a rebel insurgency that cost the lives of hundreds and thousands of Americans and Iraqis alike. But one thing most won’t call him is roommate.

The year was 2006, minus about 250 million years. All types of creatures roamed the earth. They skipped and frolicked through fields. They swam synchronized in complex patterns through pristine oceans. The proto-Slantmouth reporter first emerged from the underbrush of a vast and wonderful forest. Then it happened.

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